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Flying Solo : 4 Fly Tips to Combat Lonely Days While Away

Being a fly attendant definitely has its perks . We get to travel all over the world practically for free , lavish in opulent hotels and meet really interesting people ( good and bad ).Our schedules are flexible and we work in an independent environment . There’s no one to tell you when to take that lunch break over here !

Side note , I worked at target while working at my last airline and although that discount isn’t anything to play with (heyy big head ) ; I absolutely hated being told when to eat and what time to break ! I would think to myself, I decide when I want to break or if I want to lean against my galley to eat standing up while we’re boarding ! Lol

Ok ok I’m back .

Needless to say the list of perks are extensive. The one thing I wish I was prepared for when I decided to embark on this lifestyle was how lonely this career can be . I promise this won’t be a depressing post , just bare with me .

We work in an environment surrounded by people more often than not . Being in that metal tube sometimes upward of 8 hours filled with families, businessmen , grandmothers and unaccompanied children hoping to make their flying experience as spectacular as we can or at the very least just a plain pleasant ride. Our duty days a lot of times involve us finding a corner at said airport and being approached by passengers with questions about their travel plans or divulging private convos about their fights with their mother in laws. To be honest , our uniform is a an instant magnet which attract people to us. We are placed with a crew who if you’re lucky , click and become the new bestie you didn’t think you needed but then there’s crews who , well , suck (for various reasons ) and you rather quickly forget about them. There’s really no shortage of person to person contact in this lifestyle .

So how can it feel lonely ?

When the duty day is done and we’ve reached our hotels , we check in and receive our room keys , is when it can begin to settle in. At times we’re making plans with one another and other times a simple goodnight is shouted from the elevator as we’ve reached are designated floor . Fortunately we have our own room and then we’re alone . Alone with our thoughts . Alone with the reality of whatever is going on in our private lives . Whether it be a bad break up (check) , an ill family member , financial woes or just plain FOMO . Suddenly you’re in a quiet hotel room far away from anything familiar , alone in your thoughts ,left to comfort yourself . Then you’re scrolling on Insta and it seems like everyone back home are having the time of their lives ! I remember I used to be really salty like ohhhhhh y’all really chose when I left to work to have that impromptu barbecue ! Now here I am replaying the stories just to feel like I was there. Often times , you’re in a different time zone than home and that phone call you needed or wanted to make to your family or best friends is halted by it being 9pm in Cali but midnight in Miami and you don’t want to disturb anyone .

So how do you combat loneliness/sadness in such a sociable position ?

Now THAT is what this post is about !

Here are 4 fly tips which will ensure your Emo flying days are over .

1.Spread your wings: If you read « 5 Fly Tips I wish I knew Before Becoming a Fly Attendant » , I touched on this topic a bit . Mainly for my introverts or people like me who are too much of a thug to want to make new friends. I mean I have friends at home right ?? Wrong ! It’s important to socialize with the crew especially if they are nice . You never know who you will click with. I’ve met so many people opposite of me who I would have never thought I would have similar interests with and they turn out to be my favorite . So when everyone is planning an outing for dinner or lunch on a layover go against your first flaking thought and head out with them . It really may surprise you how much of a good time you will have . Every crew doesn’t deserve your presence so don’t say I told you to hang with everyone . For the crew who doesn't make the cut , head out on your own ! Visit landmarks , grab some food, get lost in a new city and turn what could have been a lonely moment in your room with takeout and Netflix (depending on the day this would be perfect but you get the point) , into an adventure ! Push yourself into new environments and notice the gems that will appear in those moments.

2.Find A Side Hustle! : It’s really important , in my opinion , to find a life outside of flying. Outside of any career to be real . As exciting as my office being 30, 000 feet in the air is , it can become redundant . I’ve met flight attendants who have worked as little as 2 years to 30 years and they are burned out! Even worse , it shows in their behavior , attitude , lack of professionalism and leaves passengers and coworkers to wonder “why don’t you just quit already ?” . In order to not fall into that rabbit hole , find something else you can be passionate about . For me , this fly blog has provided what I like to call a passion project . I’ve always enjoyed writing and I’ve created a platform which allows me to enjoy my job and my passions. It has forced me out of my comfort zone and requires a level of consistent commitment. There’s no flight attendant handbook that states we all have to be bloggers , vloggers or “influencers” but the point is to think about something you love or always wanted to do and pursue it ! I’ve met flight attendants who double as realtors , teachers , entrepreneurs , stylist , etc. Some have gone back to school to earn their bachelors , masters and even doctorate degree . The list goes on and on . Take advantage of the flexibility which this career affords . Balance is key in this lifestyle . Something as simple as volunteering or spending time with love ones when you’re off can shift your mind into a positive track which will combat the moments of negativity.

3.It’s your layover , you can cry if you want to: I know I just wrote all about putting yourself out there and keeping yourself busy but this fly tip is just as key. Confession time , I really hate crying . Like really hate it . I actually would get angry at myself for crying or letting anyone else see me cry . I felt it was a weak characteristic which I did not want to uphold . I’m the “strong friend”. I will comfort you all day but if you start inching in to hug me, my body gets tense and lord if you make contact ... sheesh . Now that I’m older and have endured some of the hardest days , although still a struggle at times , I’ve realized the importance of releasing that emotion . Any emotion . Cry , yell , scream. Do whatever you need to do so that you are not holding in that turmoil. Holding it in really doesn’t do anything for you except make you sick , stresses you and still does not resolve the issue at hand. Use the solitude of your hotel room as your refuge . This can be your safe place . Cry in the shower with some good ol sad song to aid the tears to flow . Cry laying under the covers as you watch the hallmark/lifetime movie that struck a cord . Get on the phone and cry to who ever answers . Plainly , give yourself the opportunity to not just feel the feeling but to live in it (for a moment ) . Accept it for what it is and understand it is all a part of the process of feeling your best self again .

4.Do you boo ! (Shout out to my fellow Fly Attendant Brandon who reminded me of this crucial tip ) : My final fly tip is to remember about self care . It is probably the most important tip for me because naturally I tend to think of everyone else . I always want to make sure the ones I love are good and more often than not I put me on the back burner . It’s great to be a giver but if you don’t insist to give that same energy to yourself , you can become depleted with nothing left to give . Take time on the layovers to reflect on the peace you want , your goals and the growth you envision in yourself. Write that ish down ! Put yourself first and work on magnifying your greatness from the inside out. My relationship with God is important in my process of self care. Morning prayers lead my day into the right trajectory for me and my spirit. Whether it's prayer for you or meditation , calling on God or the universe, figure out a regimen of positive affirmations, speaking out the truths of your heart and manifesting the life you abundantly intend to live.Allow at least 30 minutes a day to exercise or some form of physical activity , drink your water , mind YOUR business and watch the fruits of your labor come into fruition.

Being that we are not robots , inevitably moments of sadness and loneliness will appear. That is OK! Those times are a part of life so naturally they will come. The key is to know what and how you will handle these times when they do appear. Sadness may be evoked but it does not need to stay. Let sis visit and send her on her way.(I'm out here rhyming now ! HA !) Any lifestyle that shifts what most would call a "normal life" is a major adjustment. As a fly attendant or any position which removes you from your family , friends and all that is familiar to you can indeed be difficult. Here's a bonus tip though , you can create that "home feeling " everywhere you go. This is your new normal so take advantage of those many perks I've written about. This is the only job where you can spend breakfast in London and dinner in France! Of course experiencing these instances with familiar faces would be extraordinary but if you're constantly waiting for the perfect moment to live the life you've always wanted , you may be waiting for eternity. Do it now!You may be lonely but you're sure not alone.You may meet a stranger who inspires you, a new best friend or the loving partner you've always wanted to have and more importantly ; you will find yourself. Ultimately, that is the most important relationship of them all.

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